Towards the end of my first year in college, I had a date lined up with this really hot guy. I am still not sure how I managed to get him to ask me out, but I was just so happy to be going out with this guy that I was so totally into. This guy was smart, athletic and very good looking and genuinely a nice person. He had dated the most popular girls on campus, so of course I felt the usual pressure of a first time date, but also felt that I would have to compete with these other girls. I was a total wreck but at the same time very anxious.
I went out and did some shopping for a new outfit, with daddy's credit card of course, it was nothing too fancy as we were only going to the movies and then out to dinner and a little dancing, it was going to be a very casual date but still I wanted to look my best. I bought a pretty summery skirt and a nice white blouse. The evening of my our date I showered, put on my best lingerie and my new outfit. I paid special attention to doing my hair, nails, and makeup.
My anticipation was at its highest level possible. In my mind I had built this up to be the most important day of my life.
When he showed up to get me I was so excited, he was right on time and the date started off as wonderful as I hoped it would. The movie was great, the dinner was very good as well. We decided to go dancing. Then disaster struck. As we started to shake our booties on the dance floor, to my horror, the elastic waistband of my underwear broke. The faster I danced the faster they slid down. Eventually they fell to my ankles. It was a good thing the dance floor was packed with people shaking and hopping and no one noticed. I did the only thing I could think of doing in that situation, I just kicked them away and kept right on dancing. It was kind of embarrassing for me to watch my undies get kicked around the dance floor for the rest of the evening.
Other than that one problem, the balance of my time spent dancing was incredible. He held me passionately, and we just seemed to fit together so well. We talked about crazy stunts we had pulled as kids and more serious topics between songs and sets. He was as interesting to me as I seemed to be to him.
When it came time to leave, disaster seemed to follow. We pulled up in front of my apartment and he leaned over to kiss me goodnight, it was a great kiss but not one that told me he expected something more. It was very sweet and sensual it was the kind of kiss that lingered. All of a sudden he screeched “OW!” That’s not really what I wanted to hear while we were sharing our first kiss. He then pulled away and I could see a little blood tricking down his neck, as I was about to hyperventilate I realized what had happened. It seems the wire from my bra had broken free protruding through my blouse and when he leaned towards me to kiss me it stabbed him in the neck, at that point if I could have crawled into the glove compartment I would have. But as not to show my embarrassment I took a Kleenex out of my pocket and began to clean the wound, saying “I'm so sorry, how embarrassing please forgive me”. However he was just so understanding about the whole thing, and we even dated for a while, but I always felt that with every kiss after that he was wondering if he would be attacked again by my attack bra.
2) Make sure that you where panties that have a secure elastic on them so they do not end up being a floor polishing rag under the feet of a hundred dancers.
So if you are in college like I was but are having problems finding someone to date, then you should try this link:
College Dating
This happened to me several years ago, when I was much younger and naive. It has to be classified as one of those moments that are a bit mortifying at the time, but in retrospect is truly hysterical.
I was going out with a really nice guy that I had met for a few months at that time. We had moved in together, and of course were exclusive with each other. It had got to the point where we were not using condoms anymore. I mean, I was on the pill, neither of us had an STD, so why would we need them? In any event, we had been enjoying sex for quite some time. Looking back, I realize that he was the first person that I had oral sex with. I was only passable at it, but he was amazing. Boy could he get me off!
Somehow that was not enough for me. I was an avid reader and had read about those great orgasms that women in those books always had with their lovers. I wanted to be able to feel that sensation that they described. You see, the issue was that even though he was great at oral sex, he just had no staying power at all with conventional sex. He was just so good at the oral that I was pretty happy for the most part, but I longed for that feeling that I had read about. I mean, it just felt so good for the short time that he was in there that I was sure that my head would come off if he could last longer.
Being somewhat frustrated, and because I would not talk to anybody I knew about it, I felt compelled to take the initiative to correct the problem all by myself. I had noticed a sex shop near where I worked, and one day I sort of skulked into the place. After a while, I approached the sales lady and explained my problem. She smiled and said that it was very common, especially with younger men. She said that she had a numbing cream that would desensitize everything and help him to last longer. It appeared to be what I would need, so I bought it from her and took it home with me.
For the rest of the day, time dragged. I had in my hot little hands the formula that would change my sex life forever. It would move my sex life up about a hundred notches at least! I had been waiting my whole adult life for this! I was going to have the kind of orgasm that would make the gods weep, make the earth stop in its orbit, and make a fifty dollar prostitute jealous!
That night, as I was getting ready for bed, I squeezed some from the tube and applied it liberally to my pussy. I could feel the effects immediately! As I got into bed, I left no doubt in his mind that I wanted to make love with him. We kissed long and passionately, then he started to kiss me on the neck, then my nipples. I was going wild. At that point, he started to lick my pussy!
I was waiting for my usual response to his tongue, but something was wrong. It did not feel right! I was just not feeling him like normal. I kept telling him to go faster. Pretty soon I was screaming it! When I looked at him, his eyes were wide in panic. He tried to say something but all that came out was “AHHU HUAM MUHA”. He could not seem to talk! He ran to the bathroom and started to rinse his mouth out with water. In a desperate measure, he started to wash his mouth with soap, but all that did was make him gag. He still could not talk. It took about a half hour for everything to settle down enough that he could talk.
He asked me if I knew what had happened. When I explained my problem, he looked at me strangely and then asked to see the tube. Reading the instructions he just looked at me and shook his head. He asked me if I had read the instructions, and I said no. When he asked my why not, I said that the woman in the store told me what to do. She told me I just had to rub it on. He said that had I actually read the instructions, I would have known to rub it on him rather than on me. Not only that, but the instructions on the tube said that under no circumstances should you engage in oral sex!
At first I was mortified. Then I started chuckling. Of course laughing is infectious and as we both started to laugh. Pretty soon we were both rolling on the floor stark naked. It was hysterical!
Well several years have gone by, and I am a lot more worldly. As it turns out, that was not my last trip to a sex shop, but I always read the instructions completely, and do exactly as they say. Unfortunately, our relationship did not last for very long after that night. His career took him some place I could not go. But of all the men I have loved, he is the one that I always smile about when I think of him.
You can find more humorous stories by following the link below:
Relationship Tips for Women
Towards the end of my first year in college, I had a date lined up with this really hot guy. I am still not sure how I managed to get him to ask me out, but I was just so happy to be going out with this guy that I was so totally into. He was one of those few guys that just seemed to have it all together. He was handsome, smart, great in sports and a really nice guy to everyone he met. Most of the popular girls had dated him, and that put a lot of pressure on me because I just felt that just by being with him I was competing in that class. Of course I also felt that if I handled myself well, then dating him would actually give me some more status around campus.
With that in mind, I made sure that I had all my ducks in a row. I weaseled some money out of my dad and bought a new outfit. Nothing sleazy, but I made sure that it accentuated what few assets that I had to offer. It was simple, a plain patterned skirt and a nice blouse. Nothing fancy, because we were just going to the movies. It would not do to overdress. The night of our date I showered, put on my best lingerie (in case we got in an accident and ended up in the hospital – LOL) and put a lot of extra effort into my hair, cosmetics, and nails.
My expectations were out of this world. You have no idea to what level I had built up that one date. I was shaking. I was so incredibly nervous that I almost wet my panties.
When he showed up to get me I was so excited, he was right on time and the date started off as wonderful as I hoped it would. The movie was great, the dinner was very good as well. We decided to go dancing. Then disaster struck. As we started to shake our booties on the dance floor, to my horror, the elastic waistband of my underwear broke. The faster I danced the faster they slid down. Eventually they fell to my ankles. It was a good thing the dance floor was packed with people shaking and hopping and no one noticed. I did the only thing I could think of doing in that situation, I just kicked them away and kept right on dancing. It was kind of embarrassing for me to watch my undies get kicked around the dance floor for the rest of the evening.
Other than that one problem, our mutual time dancing was so wonderfully intimate. He held me gently, and we were just meshed like two synchronized gears. We talked about crazy stunts we had pulled as kids and more serious topics between songs and sets. He was as quirky to me as I seemed to be to him.
When it came time to leave, disaster seemed to follow. We pulled up in front of my apartment and he leaned over to kiss me goodnight, it was a great kiss but not one that told me he expected something more. It was very sweet and sensual it was the kind of kiss that lingered. All of a sudden he screeched “OW!” That’s not really what I wanted to hear while we were sharing our first kiss. He then pulled away and I could see a little blood tricking down his neck, as I was about to hyperventilate I realized what had happened. It seems the wire from my bra had broken free protruding through my blouse and when he leaned towards me to kiss me it stabbed him in the neck, at that point if I could have crawled into the glove compartment I would have. But as not to show my embarrassment I took a Kleenex out of my pocket and began to clean the wound, saying “I'm so sorry, how embarrassing please forgive me”. However he was just so understanding about the whole thing, and we even dated for a while, but I always felt that with every kiss after that he was wondering if he would be attacked again by my attack bra.
So if you are in college like I was but are having problems finding someone to date, then you should try this link:
Dating in College
